Tuesday, 15 March 2011

GI Joe - Veteran

My G.I. Joe was bought for my birthday when I was 6 years old. My vague memory says it was at Canadian Tire near Halifax Nova Scotia ( but that seems unlikely. ) He then went to Scotland with me where he suffered many bruising and downright crippling combat missions , sorties and covert operations. Like a good soldier he valiantly fought the Nazis, Big Jim, Steve Austin, Dinosaurs , Sharks and the Cat. His 'Kung-Fu Grip' tm enabled him to do insane feats of endurance which were completely impossible for any mere Action Man ( Action Man in the UK only got 'Kung-Fu Grip'tm some years later.) Sadly Joe lost all the fingers on his left hand in a death slide accident going down the stairwell ( the same accident that broke Big Jim's head clean off! ) then he suffered a debilitating fall from an upstairs window that necessitated replacing his right calf with the barrel from a BIC pen. Still able to fight valiantly , even with his transparent prosthesis, my Mum made him a Yugoslavian Partizan outfit, which probably allowed him to go undercover to fight the Nazi invasion and err... promote Communism.
Joe was last seen in a Scottish prison camp with many of his surviving comrades, packed away in a dark and unheated attic for the last 30 years. He's there right now...awaiting my orders.


  1. I knew G.I. Joe would bring out some painful memories! Even Simon was moved to write an "O'Connor essay."

    Arta must be proof reading and fact checking George's GI Joe novella just about now.

    Your drawing is strangely mesmerizing.

  2. Firstly: I've never been sure what the kung-fu grip was. Was it like the six million dollar man toy of a few weeks ago, where his fingers were spring-loaded and grabbed stuff? Or was it like a spring-loaded arm, where he karate chopped or something?

    Secondly: Screw you Tim :)

  3. "Kung-Fu Grip"tm was where, instead of hard plastic hands that only loosely held weaponry or leaned on steering wheels, G.I. joe's hands were made of pliable rubber, molded into a semi fist. This had the advantage of holding securely onto machine-guns, ropes, the edge of tables, small insects, electrical wiring and lit matches. The downside was that the rubber deteriorated over the years until we all ended up with fingerless heroes, unable to even salute correctly.

  4. Rubber hands = Kung fu grip?
    Why, I think that's kind of a gyp.

    Poet, and I don't even know it.

  5. Kung Fu grip was Much better. My squad had both. Excellent post, Simon. My GIJoe had red-fuzz hair and had a similar combat dossier.